


(no use in crying over) spilt secrets

by ElasticElla



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: (accidental & without consent), Alternate Canon, Angst, M/M, Outing, Post-Episode: s01e06 Of Men And Angels, mentioned malec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 22:36:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6096208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all starts because Simon might have over-identified with Alec.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(no use in crying over) spilt secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kirargent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirargent/gifts).



> [lesbianlightwood](http://lesbianlightwood.tumblr.com) requested jimon + jawline kiss

It all starts because Simon might have over-identified with Alec. And he knows he isn't closeted in some super strict hidden society, Clary and him had both agreed on the bi label the summer after eighth grade, but they had both been in love with their best friends. So maybe Simon's a little overprotective of the tall archer who seems to barely tolerate the world most of the time, but he usually keeps those urges to himself. (And maybe when he sees Alec and Magnus together it gives him an inordinate amount of hope, because while he isn't in love with Clary any more, it's hard to imagine loving anyone else nearly as much.)

Jace of course has a habit of dragging his protective urges out, kicking and screaming, when he calls on Alec with seemingly little regard for his friend. 

They're arguing about Alec again, for the second time this week, and both of them have even shorter fuses than before. All they were supposed to do was pick up something for movie night, a weekly tradition Clary insisted on keeping for normalcy's sake. They haven't even gotten to the store, and they've already stopped mid trip to argue. (Simon's still not sure how the two of them ended up going together.)

Jace is going through his Clary will never love you like that spiel, and Simon snaps- is so _sick_ of the assumption that he doesn't know that. Or worse, that he'd suddenly stop being friends with Clary. 

“At least Clary wasn't leading me on!” Simon finally shouts, a horrified look appearing on his face before he can even begin to take it back. Oh fuck, Alec was going to _kill_ him. 

“ _What_.” 

“I mean, um- not like- y'know what, that was a bad argument. I guess- you win?” 

“What did you mean?” Jace asks slowly, pushing into Simon's space. 

“Nothing!” Simon exclaims, refusing to meet Jace's eyes. “I- do you really want to be this close to me? I had french onion soup for lunch- really, really thick onion soup-”

“Dammit Simon,” Jace spits out, wheeling around and running a hand through his hair. “Just tell me!” 

“Tell you what?” Simon asks in a tiny voice, looking for an escape route. 

Jace takes a deep breath, and another before even thinking about responding. 

“You said I'm leading Alec on, _what did you mean_?” 

“I misspoke- silly mundie me, so! I just remembered I have a history paper due tomorrow-”

Jace glares, “You don't have history on Thursdays.” 

“I- how do you even know that?” Simon asks. 

“I didn't, now I do,” Jace says with a smug smirk. 

“Uh huh,” Simon says, disbelieving. 

“Alec is my parabatai, my brother, you can't understand, we love each other more-”

Simon chokes on nothing, and Jace's eyes narrow. 

“I don't love him like that-” Jace starts, and Simon looks even worse than before, guilt seeping from every single one of his pores. 

Simon can see the moment Jace figures it out, pleading, “Please dude, don't-”

“I need to see Alec,” he says, and just like that Simon's alone in the shortcut alley. 

.

Simon walks to the small video store in a daze, guilt and horror turning his stomach endlessly. He flips open his phone to reread the list of acceptable movies, and it suddenly hits him that the least he could do is warn Alec…. whose number he doesn't have. Fuck. 

He sends the warning text to Clary instead, hoping they're both still at the institute. 

Simon groans, feeling awful about everything, and a woman in the next aisle gives him a disgusted look before swiftly walking to the other side of the store. 

“Huh?” Simon mutters, and turning around he realizes he's in the adult section of the video store, and his face goes bright red. Oh god, she thought-

“I wasn't-” he starts automatically and apologetically, but she's blatantly ignoring him, and well, he can't blame her. God, he was just the fucking worst today. 

He brings _Pacific Rim_ to the counter because he and Clary only saw it in theaters, and Izzy hasn't seen it at all. If Jace were here they'd probably be getting the new Bond movie too, but, it doesn't matter. Ditch the movie acquiring party, you ditch your vote. 

(Simon reluctantly buys it anyways, and curses the store for displaying the Bond movies right next to the cash register.)

He's headed back to the institute when his phone vibrates, and he nearly drops it twice trying to get it out and open too fast. Clary sent him a, _its cool they tlked or w/e and evrythgs good_.

Simon can't recall the last time he was so relieved. No, it was probably when his poly-sci professor apologized and told him he was cleared of plagiarism charges and the real culprit had been found. (Fucking Jasper, he should have never lent him his study guide.) 

God, he owed Alec such an apology. At least he probably wouldn't end up with an arrow in his chest.

.

Simon looks at Clary's text five more times as he walks back. At first it's a calming thing, verification that everything is alright. 

But then he starts to wonder why. 

And oh god, is that a mistake. 

Because the first plausible reason that comes to mind is: Jace is in love with Alec. 

He just didn't realize it until today. And god, why wouldn't he be? If he was into dudes, Alec was gorgeous, his best friend, and they already had some way intimate soul bond or something tattooed on them. Like how the hell could Simon compete with that? 

...not that Simon was. Competing. That would be ridiculous, and he doesn't even like Jace. Sure he's hot and strong and vaguely Captain America looking- but he's a total ass and arrogant, and Simon _knows_ better. He's the type of guy Simon usually has to warn Clary off of, miles away from what Simon is supposed to be into: nice, normal, not impossible, fellow college students.

Fuck, he might have a crush. Dammit, this really brings over-identifying with Alec to a new level. 

.

Fuck everything. 

.

Simon doesn't deserve this. He's a good person- okay maybe today isn't the best example of that, but like, he's not _evil_. He definitely doesn't deserve to be caught up in another one-sided attraction- he's been on that roller coaster already, and no thanks, he'd rather just skip it all together and go home. 

Which brings him to an excellent conclusion: all he has to do is obliterate the crush before anything worse can happen. 

How hard could it be? Jace pretty much hated him already, surely he'd say something mean, Simon would over-analyze it, and poof! Buh-bye feelings. 

Simon could have been _such_ a great wizard. (As if he didn't already know that from hours of playing D &D.)

.

Simon yawns into the back of his hand, cutting through a park. He isn't sure how he's so tired already, but there's a bench up ahead and the bag of dvds seems heavy somehow, and he just needs to sit. Just for a moment or two… 

.

“-od, knew I shouldn't have left you alone.”

Simon blinks up, confused, and realizes his head is lying in a lap, specifically Jace's. This is either a really well done dream, or Simon tripped into an alternate universe. 

“Good you're awake.”

Simon goes to sit up, fighting back a blush, “Uh yeah-”

“Don't do that,” Jace says, holding him down, arms lightly braced over his chest. “There was a cursed pin on your shoulder, your body needs to adjust back to normal. Piss off any witches lately?” 

Simon gulps, “No? There was a woman in the store, but I don't think-”

“It would have been recent and done in person, last three hours at least.” 

“ _Three hours_ \- what time is it?” 

Simon realizes then the only light around them is artificial, and if he looks right- away from Jace instead of at him- he can see the night sky. 

“-ie canceled anyways,” Jace says, and Simon turns back to blink up at him. Simon's like 80% sure this is real, and he doesn't know what to do with that. (Mission: Eradicate Crush is _not_ having the most auspicious start.)

“Right,” Simon says, because it seems like that was a long sentence and he's pretty sure a second time around wouldn't that help much. 

“How'd you know?” Jace asks. 

“What?” Simon says, no clue as to what he's on about. 

Jace's fingers drum against his collarbone for a moment, and Simon might forget to breathe for a few minutes. 

“That I like guys too, how'd you know?” 

“Uh.” Simon feels hot under his shirt, and he's sure his ears are burning. 

“Whatever,” Jace says, and he sounds so happy and carefree, and Simon's never heard him sound like it before. And then Jace adds, “I know you weren't supposed to, but thanks for accidentally telling me about Alec. It helped us.” 

“Right,” Simon mutters, and dammit, the sudden wave of irrational disappointment is exactly what he'd been trying to avoid. 

“Try standing up. If we get back soon enough, movie night could still happen.” 

Jace sounds so earnest, and Simon's heart cracks open a little further. 

Dammit. 

.

Movie night's on, and even if it's _Pacific Rim_ Simon can't return to the institute. He needs to still apologize to Alec, but he also needs to not see him and Jace get all cuddly. The chance of him saying something mean and awful tonight is way too high, and he needs to just be alone. 

“To write your history paper?” Jace asks, and Simon only nods, the sarcasm registering late. 

.

Simon isn't going to class today. He only has two classes today anyways- both lectures, one with slides and the other gets recorded- so he's not too worried about catching up. He just wants to wallow in his room for a while and pretend yesterday didn't happen. 

.

Simon wakes up when his door snaps open, and he reaches for his glasses and blankets at the same time. 

“...Jace? Dude, what are you doing in my room?” Ordinarily he'd add, 'this is becoming a weird habit, me waking up to you', but the words are stuck below a mountain of butterflies.

“Clary told me you were moping,” he says with furrowed eyebrows, and Simon distantly remembers a 9am text exchange with Clary. He must have said more than he meant to, Clary was way too good at deciphering text messages. 

“And you came to laugh?” It's not nice and dammit, Simon wanted to be alone today to avoid saying shit like this. “Sorry, I didn't mean-”

Jace stalks in closer, a new determination on his face. 

“What are you- I'm not your-”

“Type?” Jace finishes with a wicked smile, “That's not entirely true. And I think it might be mutual. I mean, how could you not be into me?”

Simon dry swallows, inching up his bed against the headboard. He wants to make a sarcastic response that Jace isn't like a succubus or something, but the need to know is stronger than his pride. “But Alec?” 

Jace snorts, “Don't tell me you haven't noticed the sparkly warlock hanging around him?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Look. I can give you a long and detailed history of my parabatai and why he was into me as an idea not a person _or_ we can make out.” 

Simon's eyebrows jump up, “Um the second one sounds good.” 

Jace smirks, crawling onto his bed with the grace of a panther, and straddling Simon. 

“Correct choice,” he says, kissing the corner of his jaw and slowly working his way to down to Simon's lips. And then their lips meet, and Simon remembers he has hands, tugging Jace even closer. 

.

(Alec says he wants to shoot an apple off of Simon's head before he accepts his apology, and Simon's already eagerly agreeing and complimenting his archery skills before Jace can roll his eyes and tell him Alec is joking.)


End file.
